How to prevent the development of bear children?


The Translation Bureau is a compilation team of 36氪, focusing on science and technology, business, workplace, life and other fields, focusing on foreign new technologies, new ideas and new trends.Editor’s Note: Today’s “snow-sweeping education” and “helicopter-style parenting” are common both at home and abroad. Many parents are like “cleaning up the machines that lead to all obstacles on the road to success”, they block for children.Some, so they can guarantee that their children will not experience failure, frustration or loss of success.But this makes it easier for children to become “bear children.”This article is translated from Medium, author susan.speer, originally titled “Stop Making Everything Perfect for Your Kid”, I hope to inspire you.A few days ago, a child was running around in the swimming pool.The pool manager stopped him as usual, as it is a practice to ban running in the pool.The boy’s father, a big, serious-looking person, walked over to the administrator and told him that as the father of the child, he was the only one who could tell the child what to do.If the administrator has something to say, he should say it directly to him, not to his child.It is up to him to decide if his child needs guidance.I couldn’t help but see the father’s eyes, but the administrator was very calm and carefully replied that it is his job to ensure that people follow the rules of the pool, and that “running forbidden” is almost universal in swimming pools.rule.The father countered the pool manager and put on some aggressive gestures to scare him.He didn’t realize that his child had done something wrong, so in his eyes, the pool manager shouldn’t have been idle.The child is free to run around in the swimming pool, because this is what his father told him, and how about the pool rules with a child?No one except me can tell my child what to do and what not to do.Amount……. Ok.There is a strange fear that spreads among seemingly sensible adults.My sister invited some friends to visit her house. One of the adults shared some politeness, etiquette knowledge, or some basic hospitality knowledge to my sister’s children.You know, it is the things that adults often like to tell their children.Then the grown-up realized that my sister’s child had made a serious mistake and told my sister directly.”Are you kidding?” my sister said.”If my children do something that you think they shouldn’t do, I absolutely hope you can tell them directly!” In fact, the more they do, the more they need to learn to listen to others, not you.To tell their parents what they have done wrong.”If I am the only one who can tell my children what to do and what not to do, then I will live up to their completely unrealistic expectations of the world. And if that is the case, I will never leave them.”Because without me, they will not be able to take care of themselves. According to the logic of the big father in the swimming pool, the lifeguard can not save people in the future life, the teacher can not impart knowledge to the students, the coach can not train others skills, the manager can not manage the enterprise.Now, do you understand the truth? If only I can tell my children what to do, then I will fail them. Recently, the New York Times called this education “snow-cutting education”- A lot of parents are like “the machine that clears all the obstacles that children have on the road to success”, so they don’t suffer failures, frustrations or lost opportunities.” We all know that in order to ensure that their children score in schoolAlways get A, can be selected as a member of the student union, or can be included in the genius plan, the mother will plan and do everythingAnd logistics support work.I am trying to avoid this happening to me.In the case that I repeatedly reminded the deadline for submission of assignments, the children of my junior high school classmates and his colleagues still failed to deliver homework on time.One of the children’s mothers came to my house and wanted to have another opportunity to submit homework until she and she talked about the unfairness of the matter for nearly an hour before she left.She is saddened by the disappointment of her child’s failure. She wants to solve the problem in some way, or try to convince me to change the existing (completely fair) decision.It’s not that I brag, although I will experience failure in some things in high school.But their nature is not very serious, because there is still time to correct these mistakes.I have always told my students that my job is to make mistakes and experience failures when they live with me, because he needs to learn how to lose his bad habits at this stage, and then move on..In my experience, this is the most important life skill.If my child fails in the first semester exam at the university, then I am unlucky.This is a public statement to those who know my child: Go, tell my children what to do and what not to do.Really, really nothing.Tell them not to put your feet on your coffee table, tell them not to run around in the pool, tell them not to play with the knife, or don’t touch your things, tell them not to eat your chips, don’t put themSprinkle the drink on the carpet you just washed.Regardless of the rules of your family, let my children follow as usual.Don’t worry, because I also have my selfish motives.Translator: Jane recommended reading: Scientists recommend sleeping 7 to 8 hours a night: you can’t do it, CEOs do it (on) Recommended reading: Scientists recommend sleeping 7 to 8 hours a night: you can’t do it, CEOs doArrived (below).